To remember what was, again at 35000 ft.

This time around there isn’t a free WiFi connection on the flight back home, but with the movies available for viewing, I have been well distracted. At the point of writing this, with three hours left in the flight time, I have my Evernote app open to get some of the writing done.

As a quick aside, the live action Rurouni Kenshin adaptation is actually quite good. It remained pretty faithful to the anime and did well to evoke the same emotions I originally had when I first watched the show. Right down to the sappy love the characters might express to one another to the emergence of my favorite characters. While I can’t help but wonder what this movie would have been like with a high age rating, I can understand the desire to make a movie that wasn’t ultra violent for kids but still pushed the boundaries a little bit for the original fans.

It’s been days since the last post but it wasn’t for want of information or recaps. The Mobile World Congress in Barcelona went off with a bang, with a lot of mobile announcements made even just a day before the actual conference started. This much is expected during tech trade shows these days, so for people like me who work in the online press, we know about products before the general public. It’s a nice part of the job, really, but what I like most about the way it goes is being able to get the work done as early as possible. Sometimes that isn’t the case, but when it is there, it’s like a blessing.

Each day was a battle of ups and downs, and a part of me wishes that a little more stability was found in our time at the conference and in general throughout the trip. Not to say that it was a bad experience – quite far from it, actually – it’s just with the state of mind I was in coming to Barcelona and then my physiological well being in some question, I have found it rather difficult to remain consistently even. In the mornings I’m very pumped up to get to work but a gradual crash happens a little later in the afternoon. A number of things could happen at that point – the one that always happens is I get less talkative and then I find it a little more difficult to let things roll off the shoulders. The end result can then vary somewhat.

It’s at this point I feel I should make a bit of a confession on this blog – I have alluded to a health issue in past posts regarding my general well-being, so I’ll just come out with it right now. About a week before I left for Barcelona, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It basically started like this: During a routine eye appointment the optometrist found a little more pressure behind my eyes than is normal, so she suggested I get them checked. The physician I go to for the authorization to get my eyes scanned had me get blood work done. While all else was fine, it was my blood sugar that was incredibly high – I won’t say the number but I will say it was over twice the normal range.

It was just one of the many parts of my life that seemed to tumble down in the weeks leading up to Barcelona, and one of the heavy thoughts weighing on my mind and heart. In the case of my diabetes, it was the feeling that no matter what I did for myself and my happiness, my efforts were either quelled or meant nothing. At the beginning of this year I dove into fitness harder than I ever had, and was liking my results. But just 7 weeks into my efforts, I was diagnosed with diabetes. The feeling of one step forward, a mile backward has more or less been a way to describe my recent troubles.

My boss and colleague, God bless them, listened to me throughout this past trip as I battled with the random instances when the bad thoughts would come into my head, seemingly for no reason. Any trigger reminding me of what has been plaguing me as of late would ignite a flood of emotions, provided I didn’t already have my guard up to weather the storm. Like I said – God bless them for putting up with it. But their encouragement, though perhaps not always completely understood or fathomed by me, is something I will try to keep in mind.

I do have to give a big mention and thanks to my boss who really took it upon himself to make sure I was eating right and doing the right things for my health, as he knew about my condition some days before the trip. Going out to get the right kind of food and then making meals when he could – in such a way that I learned is definitely what I have to do myself – helped so much that at one point in the trip my blood sugar levels came back down to the normal range. That was a huge piece of good news when it happened and although I did indulge a little more to the point of higher readings once again, I at least know for certain now how to get myself back on track. My boss and I get along pretty well most of the time but there are some instances of real clashing between us – almost like brothers who often can’t stand each other. I like looking at it that way, even if sometimes it is a little tough to remember in the moment.

More about the Barcelona trip is coming in another couple posts, as I am working on a vlog for it.

For now, everything just seems so right. How you make the darkness seem so bright? I’m feeling like things gon’ be alright.

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4 thoughts on “To remember what was, again at 35000 ft.”

  1. Hey…just saw read your blog about your condition..it really hit home with me…I too just found out i have diabetes…i found out when i went to the Emergency Room for a work related accident ..because it was work related ..i had to take a urine test and they found sugar in my urine..they told to see my doctor …i havent yet..hell i didn’t tell my family yet..guess I’m scared to actually being told i have it..by my doctor..i’ve always been healthy…prided myself on that..guess i’m still in shock….wow i’m rambling..guess i just wanted to say thanks for sharing about your condition..it really made me think about mine

    1. Mike, if anything I hope that my posts regarding all of this will provide some perspective. I hope you haven’t gone too far down the rabbit hole with it, mentally and emotionally – I say that because I did. Granted, I did have a lot of other issues on my mind but still, it’s not a healthy place to be. We can do this, Mike, it’s entirely possible and I have the faith, even if I lose sight of it sometimes.

      When I was first told that I had it, what made me upset the most was that nothing I did or didn’t do for my health caused it – it was completely hereditary. Too many of my elder family have it, so it was almost inevitable that I would get it. That’s what upset me the most but feelings like that aren’t meant to last. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be honest. To everyone but most important to yourself.

      I know it’s easy to be sad, it’s easy to be in despair, and you are totally justified in being that way for at least a little while. But once the tidal wave passes, promise me and most of all promise yourself that you do everything in your power to get your happiness back.

      That’s what I’m doing.

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